A year ago this past Sunday (9/5/2010).......

My Dad sent all of us this email for the year anniversary of our mother's passing! I want to keep it in my personal history and since my blog is now my personal history I am recording it here as I will be making my blog into a book.

A year ago we were all gathered together as a family helping mother move through the veil to a much better life. An awful lot has happened since that day. No one could have anticipated all of the events that were to take place. Some were not so good, but most were very good.

I have been thinking of the last family get together we had in the hospital room talking about special remembrances with Mother. It was the most touching and spiritual experience that I had ever had. Hopefully we can still look back on those special times and gain strength. I remember the planning of the funeral with Bishop Tillman and how each was able to participate in the planning. I remember the funeral and how special it was to see each of the children and grandchildren participate. I know that Mother was very pleased.

It has been a very emotional day for me. Tears seem to emerge quickly, whether it is singing a hymn, thinking of the loss of Phyllis or talking about her passing through the veil. Yet all of these memories are glorious and wonderful to me. It seemed a little strange to be holding Barbara in my arms and talking about how special Phyllis is to me and my life. Barbara handled it very well and was very comforting, the special person that she is.

Phyllis has brought so much joy and happiness into my life that words seem to be very inadequate to express my appreciation and love. She certainly looked beyond my faults and loved me anyway. A very rare quality in a spouse. She always saw the best in me and helped me be my very best. Her devotion to me was unequivocal. I was so happy to be able to help her during the last few years of her life in giving personal service to her. It was such a privilege to give that service to her and I loved every minute of it. She certainly brought out the very best Dean that could be developed, and I love her so very much for that.

Of course her greatest joy was her children and grandchildren. Each of you have blessed our lives beyond measure. We rejoice in your successes and feel the pain in your sorrows. We are so anxious to help each of you obtain a close relationship with our Savior and be able to abide in his love. It is the most wonderful joy that anyone can ever hope for.

Barbara and I are very happy in our marriage. We are doing all that we can to build upon the foundation that was so successfully laid with my marriage to Phyllis. We look for the good in each other and ignore the shortcomings so as to keep focus on the blessings that God has blessed us with. For he has truly blessed us beyond measure. I have to keep pinching myself to be sure that everything is real and not just a dream.

It has been fun and interesting to bring both families together and to feel the great love we have for each of you. You truly are special members of a larger family. We rejoice in our new family that has been expanded to include such special children and grandchildren. Very much like a new child being born into the family our love keeps expanding and we feel even greater love than before.

We look forward to the coming holidays and the special family togetherness it entails and certainly hope that all is well with each of you as you remember your mother / grandmother and contemplate the days ahead.

Much Love

Dad / Grandpa Clay

My Dad's wedding - A great way to spend Father's day weekend

Well, the wedding was beautiful! I'm so happy for my Dad and Barbara and hope that they know how much they are loved! It was a great way to spend Father's day Weekend!

Memorial Weekend.....

So this was a fun weekend.....really enjoyed the 3 days in a row with no work! But really enjoyed more the reason we celebrate Memorial Day....but could not believe that I forgot to go put anything on my mothers grave! How did that Happen???? When Allison called me Monday night and said so what did you do at Grandma's grave I about died myself....because I had not even thought of it! I don't know if it was because we had just done something big for mother's day and her birthday just a few weeks earlier, or what, but it was a little upsetting! But then I wondered, maybe it really dosen't matter because I know she is not there, but even before my mom died we would take the girls to relative's graves and put flowers for Memorial day because we were teaching our kids the real reason for the Holiday.....so of course Allison would assume we would have gone! I'm not sure what I am feeling about this (forgetting) as you can see.

We had a great Saturday, with Barbara's family. This was a planned day for us to have both families come together and meet for the first time before the wedding! And her Sister does have the house to entertain and have a great time at......so of course we did! I wasn't sure if they were really going to have swimming etc...so I forgot to bring swimsuits for Aileen and me, so we went swimming anyway! It was such a hot day, it did not take long to dry out! The food was great, the company awesome, and the fun was fantastic! Barbara has a wonderful family.

The letter came!

The letter came for the cancellation of Barbara's sealing to her ex-husband, so the invitations can go out, the plane tickets bought, and the wedding is set for June 19, 2010 in the Dallas Temple!

Lets get moving

I know, I can hardly believe it, but its true! We are buying a home. With my Dad getting married and moving in with his fiance', he wants to sell his house. So we are buying it and will close next Friday! (at least that's the forecast)

It finally seems real and I have been a little teary all day and wondered why and now I think I know why! It has been a long time since we have owned a home and had all of our own stuff, and able to decorate etc. as we would like to! I feel incredibly blessed and so grateful to my Heavenly Father for helping something to happen that I had basically given up on - owning a home!

3 things happened:

1) Dad is getting married and needed to sell or rent the home. He asked us if we wanted to buy or rent he would be happy to do either. He just wanted out the the home fast (June 19 when he gets married) So I called his guy that helped Dad get this home originally and we are going to do a sale by owner deal!

2) Because we have been living in the home we have to have far less to put down on the home to be able to purchase it! That was a big plus! And because we have been working so hard to get and stay out of debt (even though I was worried) there were no worries with our credit report! Whoohoo!

3) Whatever the reasons may be, we have lived in this home for a long time out of the loving generosity of my parents and now that the market is a buyers market and not a sellers market, Alan and I both felt that we owed it to Dad for him to be able to get exactly the price he wanted to get out of it.....instead of someone trying to haggle him down because they can......and right now they could!

Bonus - we both get to buy and sell a house with very little disruption.....except getting all of Dad's stuff out and all of mine in!!! lol!

We will be putting in new carpet and some flooring in the kitchen. Because of hail damage we are getting a new roof! And once the siding by the Chimney that has rotted gets fixed.... I will be the happiest girl in the whole USA! Dad and I have been doing this as if anyone was buying and selling a home.....not that its my Dad selling or his daughter buying it!

So today it finally feels real! And I hope I haven't jinxed it by saying all this.....this is why I have kept it all under my hat until now....but I can't stand it anymore! Lets get MOVING!!!!

Friday is Date Night!!!!

O.k., I know we are all supposed to have date nights! And We do go out with family and friends out to dinner and other activities, but usually it is always with Aileen! Not, that we mind Aileen always being with us, because, actually we really enjoy it.....but when a Young Woman from your Ward calls and says, "I'm working on one of my Personal Progress Goals and I need more service hours - Can you and Brother Brown go out on a Date on Friday night and stay out until late so I really can get those hours?" What else can you do but be magnanimous and say "Sure, I guess we could do that". It caught me so off guard, that I did say it in a tentative way. But as the week went on, the more excited I got and then I was finally able to express to this sweet Young Woman, what a special thing this was that she was doing for us!

We went out to eat with Barbara and my Dad. This was my Dad's first outing to a restaurant or anything like that since his surgery! We went to a Chinese buffet place where there would be no waiting in line for him and to a place that sounded good to him....because as you can see in the picture, he has lost his appetite! So it was good to be with them in a fun social atmosphere and see my Dad eat better than I have seen him do in a while!

Then They went home while Alan and I decided to hit a movie! Alan wanted to see "Date Night", which I thought was fitting and even though I had seen it with a friend, I hadn't seen it with him and it was much funnier with my husband beside me! We had a good time.

By then it was 11:00 pm or a little later, (our expected time of staying away) and so we went and picked up Aileen! Aileen of course had had a great time being with her friend and watching movies and being one of the girls!

It was a great time! Made me remember what it was like to go on a Date - I actually got all gussied up with make-up, hair and everything! And it was a special time to spend with my husband!

Thanks JS for making it possible! You are a gem! And Glad we could help you get your YW's goal!

April's theme......Emergency Rooms!

So this morning at about 5:00 am my Dad says, "Lois, I think I need to go to the hospital". which if you know my Dad, he is really concerned and has probably been dealing with some pain for awhile and finally decided he needed to check it out. I jumped out of bed so fast you would have never believed it and we were on our way. We just got home and it is 12:25 pm and they said that he didn't have a heart attack so that is good....but I still want to know what caused the shortness of breath and the tightness in his chest. So I have put a call into the Cardiologist myself and they will be seeing him today or tomorrow or they will have the wrath of Lois and if you've seen the wrath of Lois.....its not a place you or I want to go!

Monday, I got a call from my oldest who said that she was in the Emergency room getting a CT Scan and a Lumbar puncture test to make sure of no bleeding or problems in her brain.....She is in Utah and I am here.....not happy about that. But she is home and resting now and her tests came back clear.....but once again, why did she have the pain in her head and vomiting.....I hate that I can't seem to get answers!!!!

Then of course there was the infamous 2nd heart attack of my Dad's on April 2nd that we ended up in the Emergency room for that moved his surgery way way up.....obvious they couldn't wait like the wanted to, to do the triple by-pass! So I guess if this is the theme for April....I am ready for April to be OVER!!!!!

(the 1st emergency room visit for Dad's 1st heart attack was March 28th so it doesn't count for April but that would make 4 emergency room visits in a months time!!!)

I believe 3 emergency room visits in one family for the month of April makes it a theme!

But I am extremely happy and feel very blessed that everyone - even with the scares - are doing well!

Lessons remembered

All went well with the triple bypass surgery! Yay! Dad is off of the respirator today and will be sitting up and drinking clear fluids. And if all goes well with that, hopefully he will be in a room out of ICU (Still in the Cardiac Hospital) that isn't so limiting to visits and visitors. We are very grateful and feel very blessed! Thanks to everyone for all the prayers and well wishes!

A couple of weeks ago I was asking myself and Heavenly Father, if we (Alan & I) were being too complacent, or lazy, or whatever you want to call it by still living in my parents home. Sometimes I worry about what people think, but mainly I worry what my Heavenly Father thinks - to which 2 Sunday's ago happened. If we had not been here, and my father was living in this home alone....I shutter to think what could have possibly happened. Every time I have asked this question, I have been shown one way or another that we are exactly where we are suppose to be. So, of course I then said to myself, quit asking that question, so that things will stop happening to my parents......but I also feel there is some responsibility to re-visit a question with Heavenly Father, to make sure the answer is the same, because situations change, and just because the answer was "Yes, Lois, you are living where you are supposed to be living" last year and 3 yrs ago, doesn't mean its the same for this year. But I must be honest and say that I am happy to know that we have not been slacking or being lazy, but we have been following answer to prayers.

We have also been told along with this other question, that yes, we want to and need to buy this house from my Dad, to make his transition easier and better when getting married. I know that we owe him that! There are so many foreclosures out there and houses that you could get at so much lower costs, but Alan and I know that we are to buy this home. So we are excited that we will be home owners again.

Also, 2 weeks ago, when I was so sick the night before my Dad's first heart attack, my father and husband had given me a blessing. Alan gives beautiful blessings and has the gift of healing. So I was surprised when early Sunday morning I was still so very sick and throwing up etc... (you really don't want to know the etc...) but I believe that this was also for a reason. If I had started feeling better - because of being dehydrated, so tired and worn out from being sick, I think I might have slept through the fall and maybe even if I had heard it subconsciously might have just thought it was Aileen making noise. But because I was AWAKE in a big way and had actually just gotten back in bed from another episode, I knew exactly where the bang from a fall had happened and knew it was my father and I needed to run downstairs! Immediately after my father was taken to the hospital, I immediately felt better and was able to fall asleep and get better so that I could go visit my father in the hospital on Monday! What a difference 24 hrs makes!

Another blessing is that My Dad, myself, my sister and my brother (who quite frankly is taking my dad getting remarried very hard) all have had the same impression from the Holy Ghost over the last week. We only found out that we had all had this spiritual experience when Pres. Willden, Barbara's Home teacher came up and stated it at his visit with my Dad and Barbara. Heavenly Father and my mother would have absolutely known that this was going to happen to my Dad. And before he fell in love and planned on getting married again, he was very depressed. Very Depressed! And if he would have been in that depressed state when all this happened, we all feel that my Dad probably would have said, "Well, o.k. then" and just given up. But because he has so much to live for (yes, meaning Barbara) he is willing and wants to fight through this for which I am incredibly grateful! I know I would not have liked to lose both parents in 6 months time! And I have seen a definite change in George (my baby brother)and his acceptance and understanding of Barbara and Dad getting married! Thanks Mom! We miss you and love you so very much!

Last ~ here are some pictures of Tytan having fun at the hospital visiting Grandpa! Then a picture of my brother........Yes, the acorn does not fall far from that tree......!

Special memories even while in the hospital....

Even though Dad is in the hospital some special memories have occurred that I would like to document so I don't forget them after all this is done!

Barbara went and picked up Dad's wedding ring as the special order had come in. She brought it up to the room and showed it to him and had him try it on to make sure it fit etc..... Dad really liked it and they were very cute together and Barbara said "Even if they have to wheel us in on a gurney we are getting married in the Temple in June!" They both were too cute!

Another neat thing, even though I already knew this, still always nice to witness this....but my Dad and Barbara (and me too) were feeling really cheated because they were not getting to see General Conference this weekend. Barbara's home teacher brought up his laptop so that they could watch General Conference and that probably meant more to my Dad than anything else anyone could have done (I was actually going to buy a laptop, but Pres. Willden made it so I didn't have to have that expense right now, but I was going to do it so we could watch Conference!). It was very cool to watch my Dad and future step-mother watching conference in the hospital and raising their hand to the square sustaining the General Authorities of the Church! Comforting to know we can do this wherever we are!

Watching Genderal conference on the laptop!

Sustaining the General Authorities!

And I was able to meet more personally one of Barbara's sons (my step-brother). It has been really humbling and amazing to watch Barbara's family rally around Barbara and Dad as they have already accepted Dad as part of their family. All of her sisters have came up to see Dad, one of her sons, the other has called several times to check on him, and even Barbara's ex-husband has called to say that he is praying for Barbara and Dad and hopes that all goes well. Barbara is such an amazing woman and obviously loved by and supported by her family.

Not that ours isn't amazing and supportive -- just nice to see that Dad is becoming apart of another wonderful family.

San Antonio Temple for spring break....

Barbara, my Dad, and myself decided that while Barbara was on spring break we wanted to go through a temple that we have not been through before, so it was between the Houston Temple and the San Antonio Temple. The San Antonio temple won out this time because Deborah, Barbara's sister ended up not being able to go with us and Houston is the one that we were going to see with her. Dad voted that we go to San Antonio so that we could stop in Lockhart and visit my Aunt LouRae (my dad's sister) and Uncle Lynn and so that they could met Barbara and then have them join us in a session at the Temple as well. I do not know what the Houston Temple is like.....but I am so glad we went to the San Antonio Temple. I have never seen such a beautiful temple inside! It really is stunning! Stain glass everywhere. A waterfall, fountain in the main entrance all the details are just amazing. It was gorgeous! I am really glad I got to see this temple and next time my children come home, I am definitely going to try to get them down there to see how amazing it is!



While in Lockhart, my Aunt and Uncle took us to lunch to a Texas Landmark barbecue place called Krewz Market. It has been in all the magazines as one of the top barbecue places and has been around since 1900. When you walk in your mouth just waters from the smell of barbecued meat! Then when you order, they hand it to you in brown butcher paper and only give you napkins and knives. You cut off what you want to eat and eat with your fingers.....very interesting experience....really good meat.....and now I can say I have been there done that. And even on a Thursday, during the daytime, in the small town of Lockhart, there was a long line we had to wait in to be served!



It was a beautiful day, with lots of laughter, good stories, good memories, family and the Temple! It was a break I definitely needed.

Alan teased me and asked if I was a 3rd wheel and did I invite myself along with Barbara and Dad.....to which I informed him that Barbara and Deborah and I had this planned and then I saw my Dad looking so forlorn like "you mean you are going somewhere without me?" and so I invited him along. So technically, my Dad was the 3rd wheel. Funny!