A year ago this past Sunday (9/5/2010).......

My Dad sent all of us this email for the year anniversary of our mother's passing! I want to keep it in my personal history and since my blog is now my personal history I am recording it here as I will be making my blog into a book.

A year ago we were all gathered together as a family helping mother move through the veil to a much better life. An awful lot has happened since that day. No one could have anticipated all of the events that were to take place. Some were not so good, but most were very good.

I have been thinking of the last family get together we had in the hospital room talking about special remembrances with Mother. It was the most touching and spiritual experience that I had ever had. Hopefully we can still look back on those special times and gain strength. I remember the planning of the funeral with Bishop Tillman and how each was able to participate in the planning. I remember the funeral and how special it was to see each of the children and grandchildren participate. I know that Mother was very pleased.

It has been a very emotional day for me. Tears seem to emerge quickly, whether it is singing a hymn, thinking of the loss of Phyllis or talking about her passing through the veil. Yet all of these memories are glorious and wonderful to me. It seemed a little strange to be holding Barbara in my arms and talking about how special Phyllis is to me and my life. Barbara handled it very well and was very comforting, the special person that she is.

Phyllis has brought so much joy and happiness into my life that words seem to be very inadequate to express my appreciation and love. She certainly looked beyond my faults and loved me anyway. A very rare quality in a spouse. She always saw the best in me and helped me be my very best. Her devotion to me was unequivocal. I was so happy to be able to help her during the last few years of her life in giving personal service to her. It was such a privilege to give that service to her and I loved every minute of it. She certainly brought out the very best Dean that could be developed, and I love her so very much for that.

Of course her greatest joy was her children and grandchildren. Each of you have blessed our lives beyond measure. We rejoice in your successes and feel the pain in your sorrows. We are so anxious to help each of you obtain a close relationship with our Savior and be able to abide in his love. It is the most wonderful joy that anyone can ever hope for.

Barbara and I are very happy in our marriage. We are doing all that we can to build upon the foundation that was so successfully laid with my marriage to Phyllis. We look for the good in each other and ignore the shortcomings so as to keep focus on the blessings that God has blessed us with. For he has truly blessed us beyond measure. I have to keep pinching myself to be sure that everything is real and not just a dream.

It has been fun and interesting to bring both families together and to feel the great love we have for each of you. You truly are special members of a larger family. We rejoice in our new family that has been expanded to include such special children and grandchildren. Very much like a new child being born into the family our love keeps expanding and we feel even greater love than before.

We look forward to the coming holidays and the special family togetherness it entails and certainly hope that all is well with each of you as you remember your mother / grandmother and contemplate the days ahead.

Much Love

Dad / Grandpa Clay

Mom would be proud.....

We had a baptism Saturday morning and our Ward is one of those few Wards that really does not have very many pianists. And the two that everyone always asks and count on to do this for them were not available. Since I'm part of the Missionary Coordination meeting as part of my RS calling, I could not just sit by and not say anything. I did say I would have to know that day what the songs were so I could practice all week, but that I could do it. Mom would have been proud. And I survived! And the Baptism was beautiful, no matter how many mistakes I made! I really didn't do too bad, except the 1st song had 2 sharps and I hate sharps. But after that all was good!

Saturday - Remembering Mom!

Monday April 26, 2010 was my mother's birthday. So, on Saturday, all of us in Texas went to mom's grave side and wished her a happy birthday! Told her we would never forget her! And spent a few minutes with her! Then we came home to Dad's and we brought in dinner from Boston Market (one of my favs) and had a nice dinner where Dad updated us on his progress, what he has been feeling, and that Barbara are still committed to each other and planning on getting married June 19th. It was a very tender time for Dad and his three children and son-in-law Alan. And it was just us! Thanks Barbara for understanding that we needed this time with our Mom to be just us!

Dad also told us that both families (his and Barbara's) are experiencing great trials right now and they realize that it is because they have wanted and are planning on a Temple marriage! And he apologized, but quite frankly, I personally am so thankful that they do not want to be married any other way or any other place!

After the visit and the dinner than Barbara came and joined us and it was very nice and seemed normal to have her be part of the family gathering!

6 months ago today......

I was sitting in Church writing out my tithing check when I realized the Date, and realized that today was the 6 month anniversary of my mother's death. Interestingly enough I had already bought some cute pinwheels and some flowers to put on her grave last week even before I realized that today would be a milestone. I just happened (and I know there wasn't anything 'just happened' about it) to be standing in line at a store getting some items for a RS activity I was having Thursday night and I saw the pinwheels and I thought I should get one for each of my girls to put on my mom's grave.....so I did (I'm so grateful that both of my parents taught me to follow those promptings from the spirit when you have them) and so when today happened and and the shocking truth hit me, I was able to after church take Aileen to the cemetery and put the flowers and pinwheels on her grave..... and it did make me feel better! Then we sat and watched the pinwheels blow in the wind and thought of many memories of my mother. It was a beautiful Sabbath!