A year ago this past Sunday (9/5/2010).......

My Dad sent all of us this email for the year anniversary of our mother's passing! I want to keep it in my personal history and since my blog is now my personal history I am recording it here as I will be making my blog into a book.

A year ago we were all gathered together as a family helping mother move through the veil to a much better life. An awful lot has happened since that day. No one could have anticipated all of the events that were to take place. Some were not so good, but most were very good.

I have been thinking of the last family get together we had in the hospital room talking about special remembrances with Mother. It was the most touching and spiritual experience that I had ever had. Hopefully we can still look back on those special times and gain strength. I remember the planning of the funeral with Bishop Tillman and how each was able to participate in the planning. I remember the funeral and how special it was to see each of the children and grandchildren participate. I know that Mother was very pleased.

It has been a very emotional day for me. Tears seem to emerge quickly, whether it is singing a hymn, thinking of the loss of Phyllis or talking about her passing through the veil. Yet all of these memories are glorious and wonderful to me. It seemed a little strange to be holding Barbara in my arms and talking about how special Phyllis is to me and my life. Barbara handled it very well and was very comforting, the special person that she is.

Phyllis has brought so much joy and happiness into my life that words seem to be very inadequate to express my appreciation and love. She certainly looked beyond my faults and loved me anyway. A very rare quality in a spouse. She always saw the best in me and helped me be my very best. Her devotion to me was unequivocal. I was so happy to be able to help her during the last few years of her life in giving personal service to her. It was such a privilege to give that service to her and I loved every minute of it. She certainly brought out the very best Dean that could be developed, and I love her so very much for that.

Of course her greatest joy was her children and grandchildren. Each of you have blessed our lives beyond measure. We rejoice in your successes and feel the pain in your sorrows. We are so anxious to help each of you obtain a close relationship with our Savior and be able to abide in his love. It is the most wonderful joy that anyone can ever hope for.

Barbara and I are very happy in our marriage. We are doing all that we can to build upon the foundation that was so successfully laid with my marriage to Phyllis. We look for the good in each other and ignore the shortcomings so as to keep focus on the blessings that God has blessed us with. For he has truly blessed us beyond measure. I have to keep pinching myself to be sure that everything is real and not just a dream.

It has been fun and interesting to bring both families together and to feel the great love we have for each of you. You truly are special members of a larger family. We rejoice in our new family that has been expanded to include such special children and grandchildren. Very much like a new child being born into the family our love keeps expanding and we feel even greater love than before.

We look forward to the coming holidays and the special family togetherness it entails and certainly hope that all is well with each of you as you remember your mother / grandmother and contemplate the days ahead.

Much Love

Dad / Grandpa Clay

Aileen rides MITS.....

Last week Aileen's Adult day care was closed down for 2 days because someone had stolen the copper out of the air conditioning units and the State closed them down until they could get the air conditioning fixed....which as you can imagine at this time of year is hard to get in line for the repair and getting parts!!! So Aileen had 4 days of staying home between the weekend and Monday and Tuesday....... so when Wednesday came around and MITS came at 6:3o am to pick her up - she was so excited! Not only because she was getting to go back to day care, which she was, and I try not to take that too personally lol, but she loves when they come to get her in an actual Bus and not just a Van or taxi! Oh, Wednesday last week was a happy day for Aileen!

Landon Eldridge turns 3!!!!!

One of the many wonderful things about Dad marrying Barbara is that I have new nieces and nephews, cousins, Aunts and brothers and sisters. Well, Landon Eldridge my new nephew who is just sooooo stinkin cute turned 3 and we had a birthday party for him....where else McDonalds!!! Aileen was lovin that! He is really into "Toy Story 3" right now so almost all his gifts were along that theme and we all got "Toy Story" rings which you will be able to see in the pics some were proudly displaying! I will Say David and Mandy, make really cute children! They are too fun to be around and love on! Happy Birthday Landon!

Aileen going down the slide into the pool......

A couple of weeks ago we were swimming again for a birthday party of our new cousins with Barbara's family and Aileen really kept looking at the slide because everyone was going down it and when she would walk on her own she would walk towards the slide.....so, since Alan wasn't there to say "no way" like he did on the 4th of July I enlisted some help from Aunt Tootie, and cousin Diana's husband and this is how it went, I helped her up the ladder and helped her to get seated and her legs out from under her. Tootie, helped her feel secure and got her started going down the slide then Diana's husband Logan, caught her at the bottom of the pool! She loved it so much she got right out and walked right over to the slide again and climbed up to do it again! Too Fun for the Aileen Brown....she is a dare devil! She loves slides in the pool and Roller coasters at theme parks!

Oh, No! Really?

Well, I washed my cell phone in my jeans pocket in the washing machine! Really? I can't believe I did that! The funny thing is that is my 3rd phone in about as many weeks! First Aileen grabbed my blackberry and chewed and slobbered all over it before I notice and ruined that....the roller ball won't roll..... so I bought a cheap AT&T phone to use until I could decide what to do and I laid it down and once again Aileen grabbed it and chewed etc.... so then it didn't turn on...even after drying it out etc.... and NOW, I have been washing like crazy getting all the clothes done and folded and put away now that we are in the Master bedroom and have all this closet space. Monday we had moved some stuff out of the storage unit to our home and I was all hot and sweaty...so when I put the last load in I thought to myself....I'll just throw these clothes I have on really quick too and be all done! So I did and then an hour later Allison called me on the home phone and asked why I wasn't picking up my cell phone.....Wait, I never heard my cell phone....... Wait, where is my cell phone....... Oh, No! Don't tell me I washed it in the washing machine!!!!!! To which I went and emptied out all the clothes and sure enough....there it was in the bottom of the tub nice and clean and gone through 2 cycles of washing and rinsing......yeah, it doesn't work anymore! Yep, I have a 3rd cheap phone! And until I can be more responsible, I guess that is all I should get!!!! Yeesh!

Happy 4th of July!!!

I love our Country and am always so happy to celebrate the freedoms that we enjoy! We had great meetings at church and a great meeting in RS about our founding fathers etc... then we went to Barbara's family in Burleson to eat great BBQ, baked beans and potato salad the all- American meal, went swimming and then watch a great display of fireworks. We had left over sparklers from Allison's wedding so we took those and all the kids got to play with them including Aileen, which she grabbed right for them.....so we had to be careful that she didn't grab the wrong end!!! At some point over the holiday weekend we spoke several times to our kids in Utah to make sure that they were enjoying the holiday as well and that they knew that we missed them.

Friday night we went to Mansfield to celebrate Barbara's oldest son's 30th Birthday! Hey, wait a minute, I have a daughter turning 30, how does that work....oh, yeah, I started young having my family! We had a great time with lots of laughter and great food once again!

Great weekend!

Father's Day 2010

Allison and John were here for Father's Day and I know that my hubby would say that was the best gift.....but they did bring a gift from all the girls to him. My girls have been blessed with a great Dad and they know how lucky they are which makes it extra sweet! And I know that Alan loves being a father-in-law and having a son to now talk about guy stuff with! It was a great weekend. Barbara had a breakfast for all of us in town for the wedding, so that we would be able to celebrate the day with our Dad, even though it was the day after their wedding! It was nice to get to spend time with him as so many were having to fly back that day or the next.

John & Allison were here in Texas - YAY!

This last weekend was my Dad's wedding! John and Allison were able to come and it was fantastic having them here! We were extremely sad that Anne Marie could not take any more time off of work at the Hospital, with Allison's Wedding, Mom's Funeral, and this all in the same year......yeah, the Hospital didn't seem to understand.....well, that is a lot of time off for 1 yr! But we talked to Anne Marie and thought about her all the time and even went shopping for her to send gifts home...... so you were with us in spirit Anne Marie! We love you so very much!

So, now to the crazy things that happened before the wedding and before the kids came! Thursday was the day that we moved out the very few things that my Dad was taking with him to Barbara's. Then we scheduled the carpet cleaners to come at 9:30 am that morning after his bedroom stuff was gone so they could clean that carpet and by the afternoon have the carpets dry enough to move our bedroom furniture into the Master Bedroom (Thanks Chem-dry). And then move some of our stuff out of storage and other places upstairs so there would be a guest room for Allison and John to sleep in while they were here!

There was also the taking all the utilities and dishnet etc... out of my Dad's name and putting them in our names and the switching of beds in 3 different houses and the swapping out of a refrigerator! Plus all the cleaning and I mean deep cleaning that goes along with that. As if that wasn't enough to worry about....... We have bees inside the siding on the back of the house where the air conditioner unit is hooked up into the house. We had arranged for the bee keeper to come before the wedding but had to have a contractor there to take the siding off the house when the bee keeper comes to do this. Well, our Contractor couldn't come before the wedding because of Boy Scout Camp, so we had planned it for the next Tuesday, which was a couple of days after the wedding.......and since we really only saw a couple of bees inside the house every once and awhile that should have been fine.

The Dish Network guys came to hook up our new stuff and had a great fear of the bees and sprayed 3 cans of wasp spray into the hole that the air conditioner wire goes into the house (inside the siding) and this did nothing to get the bees out of their way....but totally made the bees so made that we had hundreds of bees in our home -- and I do not exaggerate when I say hundreds (I can't believe I didn't take a picture)and they still couldn't hook us up until they got someone that wasn't afraid of bees and that person just went up the ladder and threaded whatever wiring needed to be threaded and slick as a whistle hooked us up and the bees never bothered him a minute....

Here I am the night before John and Allison are suppose to come and not only am I trying to move furniture and my father and deep clean....but now I have bees all over and every morning when we woke up hundreds of dead bees everywhere! I was stung, Alan was stung, and my nephew Jimmie who is staying with us right now got stung! And I really wanted this time that my son-in-law came to be a normal visit....ha-ha!

Luckily the night that the kids came and stayed upstairs in the guest room, we only had 50 bees on the floor in the morning and Allison and John didn't see any upstairs! It was just us in the master bedroom that had that joy!!!!

Then the day before they came the washing machine broke down. And the truck was already gone so we couldn't get ours out of the storage and Alan didn't really want to be moving the washer and dryer out of the room when that was the room that all of the bees were coming in from so I have been going to the Laundromat or doing without the whole wedding weekend and with company to boot!

So Tuesday morning the contractor and the bee keeper came to take care of the bees and siding etc... and they cut through our air conditioner Freon line - REALLY? are you kidding me? And our phone with our new phone number was suppose to be all set up with our Internet on Friday the 18th, but because of them not being able to move my Dad's phone number because Barb's lines are too old and a big dog in the neighbors yard where the telephone poll is - they didn't move my Dad's number and we didn't get our phone and Internet service until yesterday.... whew!

But it was a great weekend. John and Allison are good sports.....we just had to laugh at all the craziness and John told me "I always have a great time when I come to visit" So I guess that is good even though he has never seen me "normal" and our life in "normal mode" we always seem to have some kind of craziness going on.

The passing of an elect lady.....

In our ward we have a women who is 92 that passed away on Thursday, June 17, 2010! She was an amazing women who was the mother of 6 or 7 children and 40 grandchildren and great grandchildren and a Branch President's wife several times a Bishop's wife 4 times, and a Stake President's wife let alone the callings that she served in. Everyone who spoke about her at the funeral today said that she never had an unkind thing to say about anyone! And that is so very true! Her husband died 13 yrs ago so I know there is a happy reunion going on - on the other side of the veil!

But the main reason I tell this story is -- last night at 8:00 pm I was asked to sing a song for the funeral that I have never even heard let alone, sung! The daughters were going to try to sing it, but decided there was no way that they could have. And I know that having just had my mother's funeral, we didn't have as many musical numbers as I thought we would have had, because there was no way any of us were going to be singing at that event!

So, I plunked out the melody and practiced the song last night....."That Wonderful Mother of Mine" and I had Alan give me a Priesthood Blessing, so I could make it through the song, since I could hardly sing this song thinking of my own mother! And I practiced at the church this morning with the granddaughter of Sis. Leithead, that was going to play - once, and then sang for the funeral.

I did make one booboo in the middle, more because I did get a little emotional singing about a wonderful mother..... and it was not a familiar song to me.....but I believe it went well and I hope they were happy with how it went.....It was Sis. Leithead's favorite song! And since I couldn't sing at my own mother's funeral, it was an honor to do so for the Leithead family! I almost insisted that we go through it again to practice with the accompaniment, but it went so smoothly and perfectly in the 1st practice - no one thought it was necessary.....but it is a little unnerving to get up in front of a crowd, and sing something you have really only sung once before and only that morning right before. But my prayer is that it was good enough! I know it wasn't perfect -- and perfect is what I usually like to do when performing, but I do feel that I did this service with a great deal of love - even though it was completely out of my comfort zone to perform a number I haven't even heard and just given to me the night before.

Then we had the family meal to get ready and serve and it was really a special moment when 2 past RS Presidents came in the kitchen and made sure that we had everything we needed and went right to work helping to get things ready....this was our first funeral as a Presidency and we had forgotten a few things, but they all got taken care of and the family never knew and it was a wonderful dinner for them on this special day thanks to all the sisters in the Ward who helped and provided food. But I loved that those who know what it is like, having been RS Presidents before, made sure all was well, and volunteered to do many things to make the worry and work a lighter load!

It was a beautiful day!

Someone had a birthday.....yes, it was me!

I am now proudly 51 yrs old. I had a great birthday this year and it started on Friday! First, I received my b-day card from my mother-in-law with the awesome customary check.....which now that we are empty-nesters, I get to spend on myself! Then the Doctor and his wife that I work for gave me Ugg slippers, that are the most comfortable things I have ever had on my feet, I love them! And those are something I would never buy for myself! So cool gift.

Then Friday night my Visiting Teaching partner, and two of the gals we visit teach, who are quite frankly some of the best friends to have, took me out to the Movie Friday night to see "Alice In Wonderland".

aren't they cute telling everyone how old I am!

They were sweet and got me candy and diet coke, and the new Twilight book about Bree the "New" vampire, a Border's gift card, jewelry and an awesome frame for me to put a picture of the 4 of us in!

Saturday morning, actual birthday, we went to a Baptism, which is a awesome way to celebrate your birthday. Then Alan took me car shopping as my car is falling apart! Sweet surprise! And all my kiddo's called to wish me a happy birthday, really nothing greater!

That night the family that is in Texas came to dinner at Chili's to celebrate my special day! Thanks Dad for the dinner! Elizabeth brought me Cinnabon Cinnamon Rolls because I have been craving them and haven't been able to find them! Barbara gave me an orange tote with my name embroidered on it. As my favorite color is orange and right now it matches my toes and my favorite clothes that I seem to be wearing all the time....it was perfect! And Alan and the girls gave me "Burn Notice" season 3!

Dad and Barbara

Me, Aileen, and Alan

Logan's friend, my nephew, Logan, and my brother, George!

My sister, Elizabeth, and my nephew, Jimmy!

Even though I have spent this post telling you all the fun things I got for my birthday.....its really not what mattered the most!

To me what mattered the most is that everyone wanted to celebrate my day and the fun we had being together! Special friends, and family that I love, what more could you ask for........

well, maybe my children that live in Utah here, but really not much else! Thanks everyone!

Memorial Weekend.....

So this was a fun weekend.....really enjoyed the 3 days in a row with no work! But really enjoyed more the reason we celebrate Memorial Day....but could not believe that I forgot to go put anything on my mothers grave! How did that Happen???? When Allison called me Monday night and said so what did you do at Grandma's grave I about died myself....because I had not even thought of it! I don't know if it was because we had just done something big for mother's day and her birthday just a few weeks earlier, or what, but it was a little upsetting! But then I wondered, maybe it really dosen't matter because I know she is not there, but even before my mom died we would take the girls to relative's graves and put flowers for Memorial day because we were teaching our kids the real reason for the Holiday.....so of course Allison would assume we would have gone! I'm not sure what I am feeling about this (forgetting) as you can see.

We had a great Saturday, with Barbara's family. This was a planned day for us to have both families come together and meet for the first time before the wedding! And her Sister does have the house to entertain and have a great time at......so of course we did! I wasn't sure if they were really going to have swimming etc...so I forgot to bring swimsuits for Aileen and me, so we went swimming anyway! It was such a hot day, it did not take long to dry out! The food was great, the company awesome, and the fun was fantastic! Barbara has a wonderful family.

Well, I'll be.... I am a good mother!

Really, the past few years this has been a wonderful surprise for me, that I love and adore Mother's Day! I must admit when I was younger, I believe mainly when I was working when my children were younger.....and then again just because they were teenagers! I almost dreaded Mother's day! Sometimes it was the most depressing day of the year for me! I would go to church or watch TV shows and listen to all the people talk about their amazing mothers etc...and I always felt that I fell short! I know that I am my own worst critic. But I know I was not the only one that felt that way, because before I knew why I was sad, I was talking to a friend saying "I don't know why I'm so sad today!" and that friend said, "I know why, Mother's Day is the most depressing day of the year!" We cannot have been the only two women in the world that felt that way!

After I was able to be a stay at home Mom that I had always dreamed of being, I noticed I didn't feel quite that sad about the Holiday, but still with Oprah, and Regis and Kellie etc... doing all these special shows about these amazing mothers I did sit and wonder what my children would and did think of me.....

After we became Empty-Nester's (2007), and have seen what amazing children Alan and I have turned out....I must say, I adore Mother's day, because guess what? To them I am amazing! And they are such great adults, how can I not be proud! So this past Sunday as I was reading my Mother's Day Book they all made for me and each person wrote what they loved about me (even my new amazing son!) I thought to myself......."Well, I'll be....I am a good Mother!" Who knew!

See slide show of the mother's day book they made for me below! John said that what he realized is that there are not enough pictures of him and me together! Isn't that cute!

6 months ago today......

I was sitting in Church writing out my tithing check when I realized the Date, and realized that today was the 6 month anniversary of my mother's death. Interestingly enough I had already bought some cute pinwheels and some flowers to put on her grave last week even before I realized that today would be a milestone. I just happened (and I know there wasn't anything 'just happened' about it) to be standing in line at a store getting some items for a RS activity I was having Thursday night and I saw the pinwheels and I thought I should get one for each of my girls to put on my mom's grave.....so I did (I'm so grateful that both of my parents taught me to follow those promptings from the spirit when you have them) and so when today happened and and the shocking truth hit me, I was able to after church take Aileen to the cemetery and put the flowers and pinwheels on her grave..... and it did make me feel better! Then we sat and watched the pinwheels blow in the wind and thought of many memories of my mother. It was a beautiful Sabbath!