Dreary day - why I blog - and Why can't i just tell everyone! It's killing me!

It is the first dreary day we have had in a while! I forget that just because in Texas we have been having 80 degree weather and sunshine does not mean the rest of the country is. We are probably just having to deal with what we should be this time of year...but alas we are spoiled so we want sunshine and warmth!

Also, I have been thinking for several days about the reasons I blog. This question has been nagging at me for several days as it was brought up in one of my friends blogs that I read. I originally thought that it would be a fun way to journal. I also thought that since I had worked so hard getting my personal history done and up to date....that blogging would be a fun way to keep it current with photos etc... hence the not having to look all over for that picture in later years when once again writing the rest of my personal history. I'm hoping to figure out a way to print out my blogs and then the rest of my history will be in this form. I also did this so that with friends and family when something exciting happens I can tell them to go to my blog and look and see photos etc... or its a way for my daughters when they are missing home to come on my blog and read and feel apart of things again.

But I have found that blogging is not a journal....or at least a journal that you can really tell all that you are feeling and experiencing because it is a public thing that anyone can read. And because it is public I cannot share things and feelings that I am having sometimes regarding my girls as the ones who can speak would kill me....and because it's their's to tell not mine!

I also use to put more weight and worry into how many comments I got or how many followers I have - then my wise daughters told me that I had to decide if i was doing it for a record and for me.....or was I worried about popularity....aren't they cute! And I did decide that I tell about things for me. Things that have meant a lot to me whether it happened to me or to one of my friends or family and I was apart of it. And if my girls can enjoy it too all the better and better yet if it means something to someone else, a friend -- cool! But if not it was still something that I enjoyed and something that meant something to me. Something I wanted to remember. I have found that I have been happier with my blog this way. Although I will admit to still getting caught up in checking to see if anyone has commented and then I get after myself a little bit and laugh at myself because old habits and insecurities are hard to break!

I have one friend, a college room mate, that her blog is directed and speaks only to her family as a way for her to share exciting news, and bear her testimony to her children, their spouses and her grandchildren. She probably doesn't even care if others comment or not...even though we have been invited to share her blog so that we know what is going on with her family as well. I have started looking at mine more like that also.... don't know if I'm there yet, but that's the goal.

The last thing you should know is there are so many things I would love to share my happiness about where my girls are concerned. But I am learning how to let it be there surprise and their joy.....hmmmmm its about time don't you think now that I am almost 50! It just takes some of us longer to learn! But I hope my girls are pleased with their mother! Love you baby girls!