Focus on the positive.....

Many of you may not know or may have forgotten but Alan has been unemployed since last July!! It has been a very long time. And I would be lying if I didn't say that I am worried. But I try to always focus on the positive and the many blessings that we have been blessed with....as always too many to count!! But you add this to the last few years that have been laced with stress, you might understand how I might finally be getting tired!! We had a big wedding, 2 weeks later my mother dies, 5 months later my father is having open heart surgery and really almost lost him, If we hadn't been living together and I hadn't heard the crash of him falling.... my Dad getting remarried, quickly, buying a house moving my Dad out and trying to dispose of a lifetime of furniture and things from my parents life as my Dad moved on to another life, Anne Marie having blood clots in her lungs and being rushed to the emergency room and me here in Texas and her in Utah, Allison having a miscarriage, and Alan loosing his job......and me being the person working - to just name a few things..... it might not surprise you that.....

Last Fast & Testimony meeting I got up and cried, I know, I have such a great life there is nothing to cry about...but I did. I used the old saying that I always like to say (because my mother did) that "there is no rest for the wicked!!" Our Elder's Quorum President heard me say that once and said that his mother or grandmother I can't remember which, use to add - and I'm really tired!! That was the perfect way I was feeling this day "There is no rest for the wicked, but I am really tired!!" I also remembered and bore testimony to the fact that I have a loving Heavenly Father who is aware of me and my family, that I have a Savior who will carry me through this, that I am thankful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ and that we have a living Prophet who gives us modern day revelation, our Bishopric, the Book of Mormon, etc... So it was a positive testimony, but I had shared more of what I was feeling then I had in the past.

We (Alan & I) are friends with Greg and MaryAnn Stephens. We have double dated, gone to parties together etc... Greg is also in the Stake Presidency. I really love when he comes to my Gospel Doctrine classes and the discussions we can have because of his knowledge of the scriptures!!

So it meant a great deal to me to receive this email from him.....

"Sis. Brown,

I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since your testimony this morning. I remember my father used to use that same phrase when things got rough, "No rest for the wicked." Then my Mom would correct him and tell him that the right saying was "No rest for the weary," and she would then say "I'm too tired to be wicked!"

I just wanted to let you know that I know, from personal experience with some rough times, that God is watching over you, and that as he told Jeremiah, He has a plan for you, and the plan is designed to bring you peace, not bad things. It may take awhile to see the end from the beginning and middle, but God knows the end from the beginning, and loves you. And so do we!
Pres. Stephens"

So, even though, I always try to be positive, and always show my gratitude to my Heavenly Father for all the blessing we have.....and they ARE MANY!!! Sometimes we all have to share -- "I'm too tired to be wicked".